Heart & Soul Magazine's Healthy, Wealthy and Wise Notes

Diabetes Diary, Part 6

2008-06-24T21:56:00.002-05:00

“No More Rationalizations”

For some reason, I get nervous during doctor’s visits. Typically, right before my blood pressure is taken, my heart starts racing. I don’t know why this happens, but usually the nurse asks me if I’m nervous; I say, yes; and he or she re-takes my blood pressure. The second blood-pressure check is usually much better than the first, and there’s no more discussion about it. But that wasn’t the case when I recently visited my endocrinologist.

During the visit, he pronounced that I have high blood pressure. “No, I’m borderline,” I protested—due, of course, to the nervousness I experience during exams.

He looked at me expressionlessly and said (while writing me a prescription for irbesartan-hydrochlorothiazed): “Borderline is high blood pressure for a diabetic.”

The fact that I “officially” have high blood pressure still hasn’t sunk in—even though I’ve been taking a daily dose of the 150-mg, peach-colored pill for nearly two weeks. I rationalized that were I not a diabetic, I wouldn’t be considered hypertensive. (Isn’t the mind a funny thing?)

But here’s the reality, per HealthSquare.com: My new combination medication treats high blood pressure. One of its components prevents angiotensin II, a hormone, from constricting the blood vessels. The other component, a diuretic, removes excess fluid from the body, and thereby, lowers blood pressure.

Pretty serious, I thought. My pharmacist confirmed that it is, in fact, serious, when she attached an “urgent” note to the prescription bottle—which she’s never done—stressing the dire consequences of noncompliance. This—in addition to the baby-blue warning-stickers on the bottle—got my attention. Now that I’m among the 60 percent of diabetics with high blood pressure, I plan on being the perfect pill-popper—lest my pharmacist’s dire consequences get me. In other words, I plan on taking this new med every day as directed to avoid heart disease, stroke, hardened arteries or heart failure.

Then, I ran across this tidbit from WebMD’s “Diabetes: High Blood Pressure” article, and I ceased musing about having “borderline” hypertension: “Even high yet normal blood pressure or pre-hypertension (defined as 120-139/ 80-89) impacts your health. Studies show that people with normal yet high range blood pressure readings, over a 10 year period of follow up time, had a two to three fold increased risk of heart disease.”

Enough said.

Until next time,
Nicole Crawford-Tichawonna
Contributing Editor

Diabetes Diary, Part 5

2008-05-06T14:46:00.001-05:00

Although I’ve been using my current blood glucose meter since last September, I hadn’t bothered to check out its Web site until last week. To my delight, I found a great resource for managing my diabetes. Accessing the site was simple. I had to join its online community by registering the serial number on my blood glucose meter—plus the membership was free.

The first tool I plan to use is the site’s Testing Log. I currently track my glucose levels throughout the day the old fashioned way: with pen and paper. I fold an 8x11” photocopied daily log grid in half three times, in order for it to fit inside my meter’s carrying case. As you can imagine, by the time the sheet is filled up, it’s pretty dog-eared.

By using the online log, I can forgo the tedium of folding and refolding my log sheet. My meter keeps about 100 test results in its memory. So I can retrieve the day’s results before I go to bed and--with a few points and clicks--enter them all at once. The online log also allows me to create line graphs or pie charts by day, week, month or year. This will not only give me a visual image of how I’m doing, but it may also help me figure out what I need to tweak in my diet and exercise regimen and when.

Other features on the Web site help you set and complete exercise goals; cook tasty-sounding, carb- and calorie-specific recipes; understand diabetes terms and stay abreast of the latest diabetes research. The Web sites for your meter and meds may offer similar online resources. Check them out, and let me know if you find anything useful.

Until next time,
Contributing Editor
Nicole Crawford-Tichawonna

Diabetes Diary, Part 4

2008-04-11T20:35:00.002-05:00

I’m sick of waking up each morning and pricking my palm or forearm to do the first of four blood-glucose tests a day. I’m tired of injecting myself with short-acting insulin before breakfast, lunch and dinner—and of having to wait 15 to 20 minutes before I can eat. And I’m so over having to end my days with yet another shot of insulin—the long-acting kind that’s supposed to sustain me for the next 24 hours. I’ve got the blues…the diabetes blues.

In my first blog, I briefly mentioned the diabetes blues, or burnout, as it’s more commonly known. I surmised that my late aunt had suffered from this affliction and been unable to shake it. I also vowed to develop strategies to beat back burnout when it comes my way. But lately, the stresses of being a mother, wife and first-year grad student—and of being severely sleep deprived—have made it hard for me to stay positive about my self-care. In fact, I’ve begun to resent my chronic condition; I even made an emotional outburst about it to my husband the other night: “I H-A-T-E having to do this,” I said. Half asleep, he muttered, “I know.”

Realizing that being mad about having diabetes is no way to beat my blues, I decided to be proactive. Yesterday, I checked the Web for ideas for coping with burnout. Here’s a sampling of what I found:

BOOKS
• Diabetes Burnout: What to Do When You Can’t Take It Anymore, by William H. Polonsky.

• 50 Secrets of the Longest Living People with Diabetes, by Sheri R. Colberg.

• Cheating Destiny: Living with Diabetes, by James S. Hirsch.

WEB SITE ARTICLES
• “Diabetes Burnout: How to Stop the Daily Grind from Bringing You Down,” by Linda Beeney, PhD.
http://www.diabetesaustralia.com.au/conquest/0101-burnout.htm

• “Diabetes Burnout: When to Leave ‘Good Enough’ Alone,” by Linda von Wartburg.
http://www.diabeteshealth.com/read/2007/04/13/5116.html

• “Avoid Diabetes Burnout,” by Joslin Diabetes Center.
http://www.joslin.org/managing_your_diabetes_596.asp

Until next time,
Nicole Crawford-Tichawonna
Contributing Editor

Diabetes Diary, Part 3

2008-03-17T19:55:00.002-05:00

For as long as I can remember, my smile has been my vanity. But despite a lifetime of twice daily brushing and flossing, my dentist recently confirmed that I have periodontal, or gum, disease: Plaque has begun to destroy the gums and bone around my teeth.

While anyone can develop periodontal disease, people with diabetes are more susceptible to it—probably because we’re more prone to infections. The American Academy of Periodontology, in fact, calls gum disease “the sixth complication of diabetes.” The good news for me is that my condition is “moderate.” (I won’t lose any teeth!) My mouth will be restored to relative good health after just a few dental visits.

Once diagnosed, I wasted no time starting treatment. At my first visit, my dentist probed my teeth to measure the space, or pockets, between them and the surrounding gums. During my second visit, the dental hygienist performed scaling and root-planing on the right side of my mouth--a procedure that removes plaque and tarter from below the gumline. On my next visit, this Thursday, the hygienist will scale and root-plane the left half of my mouth. After that, my dentist wants me to increase my dental visits from two to three times a year.

But periodontal disease is also linked to diabetes control. People with uncontrolled blood glucose levels may develop gum disease more often and more severely--and may loose more teeth—than those with good control, according to the American Diabetes Association. This is yet another reason for me to improve my diabetes self-care.

In addition, people with or who are at risk for diabetes may not know or experience all of the warning signs of gum disease. To learn more about tooth and gum problems caused by diabetes, check out the following Web sites, and see the list below:

• National Diabetes Information Clearing House (NIDDK): To download brochure.
http://diabetes.niddk.nih.gov/dm/pubs/complications_teeth/

• American Academy of Periodontology: To view free brochure, click second bullet under “Find Out More” section.
http://www.perio.org/consumer/mbc.diabetes.htm

• American Diabetes Association: “Oral Health Topics A-Z.”
http://www.ada.org/public/tipics/diabetes_faq.asp

Signs of Gum Disease
--Red, sore swollen gums
--Bleeding gums
--Gums pulling away from your teeth so your teeth look long
--Loose or sensitive teeth
--Bad breath
--A bite that feels different
--Dentures that do not fit well

Until next time,
Nicole Crawford-Tichawonna
Contributing Editor

Diabetes Diary, Part 2

2008-03-01T00:05:00.003-05:00

I periodically get newsletters from hospitals in my area. Typically, I toss them out, barely having read the cover. But recently I received one that caught my eye. I was flipping through its pages when an article jumped out at me: “Diabetes Treatment Center Makes Debut.”

The article seemed serendipitous. I’ve been without a primary care physician (PCP) for more than a year. Dr. L, my former PCP, had handled my diabetes management since 2001. But in December 2006, she announced that she was changing the nature of her practice, making it unfeasible for me to continue to see her.

Finding a replacement hasn’t been easy—and not just because I felt a bond with Dr. L. One internist I visited flunked her tryout after prescribing the wrong version of my insulin. Another highly recommended PCP informed me that she wasn’t taking new patients. And several doctors referred by friends don’t take my insurance. Meanwhile, too much time was passing since my ABCs—A1C, blood pressure and cholesterol (LDL, HDL and triglycerides)—had been checked.

Then, as if on cue, the newsletter arrives in the mail. It boasts that the new diabetes center is state-of-the-art and has a multidisciplinary approach to patient care. A one-stop shop, it offers endocrine consultation, diabetes education, nutrition counseling, podiatry, retinopathy screening and self-management training.

Not being one to look a gift horse in the mouth, I called and made an appointment. It’s in April, and I can’t wait. I just hope that the center lives up to its hype. I’ll keep you posted.

Until next time,
Nicole Crawford-Tichawonna
Contributing Editor

Diabetes Diary

2008-02-01T20:05:00.000-05:00

April 2008 will mark the eighth year of my diabetes diagnosis. My struggle with this disease began during my sixth week of pregnancy. I was at my second OB visit when my doctor informed me that I was to be hospitalized… immediately. Being a gestational diabetic is no cakewalk, but I managed my disease with near-perfect compliance. I was fanatical about portion control during meals and learned not to wince while giving myself four insulin shots a day. I tested my blood glucose levels—requiring four more sticks a day—exactly two hours after every meal. I did this day in and day out, without fail. And it was worth it: I gave birth by C-section to a beautiful and healthy baby boy at 38 weeks.

For many women, gestational diabetes goes away once the baby is born. This was not to be my fate. Despite my fervent prayers and wishes, I knew—even during my pregnancy—that living with diabetes would be my lifelong challenge. After all, the disease was rife on the maternal side of my family: my grandmother, two aunts and at least one uncle had the disease.

Although I was disappointed that I had graduated from being a gestational to a type 2 diabetic, I knew I could handle it. My grandmother had been an excellent role model for controlling the disease. When she died at age 84, it was from cancer, not diabetes complications. Her youngest child, on the other hand, was the poster child, for what not to do. My aunt’s unmanaged diabetes eventually led to her having several strokes in her 50s and dying way too soon at 61.

I spent a lot of time being silently angry with my aunt. She decided that she could no longer give herself her insulin injections, which, to me, was preposterous. First, as a single woman who lived alone in a city away from family, she needed to depend on herself. She chose instead to rely on the goodwill of church members with nursing skills to stop by her house at injection time. (I don’t know the details of this arrangement, but it must have been messy.) Second, she had injected herself for years, why had she suddenly become too squeamish to do it? Now that I have some years as a diabetic under my belt, I think I have some insight. My aunt probably developed burnout and languished there.

Diabetes books, magazines and Web sites are filled with information on how to avoid or cope with burnout—a clear indication that many of us living with this disease will experience it at some point. My turn came about two years ago. A life challenge had me in its crosshairs and I slowly and steadily began to let my regimen lapse. For example, I’d leave the house without my blood glucose monitor--an essential tool for diabetics--or I’d forget to eat on time. Fortunately, I never completely abandoned my self-care regimen. In fact, I’m ready to get back on track. Starting this blog is part of my new wellness plan. I’ll be chronicling my life with diabetes, my successes, setbacks and everything in-between.

I also want to hear from you. Whether you’re a new diabetic, a veteran like me, or a concerned friend or loved one, let’s support each other. Diabetes is plaguing the black community. This disease cuts short too many of our lives, especially black women’s. But I ain’t going out like that. Together, we can learn to gain control and thrive. That’s my intention.

Until next time,

Nicole Crawford
Contributing Editor

New Mommy Files, Part 23

2008-01-06T16:19:00.000-05:00

Can you tell that the holiday season had me in its cheery grip? Last we blogged I was about to get Raine ready for an early morning of shopping. Well, it didn’t happen. I got her up. Did my motherly duties of feeding and cleaning her and thought that we would be on our way to mall bliss. Well Raine had other plans. One, she had a diaper blow out. I washed and changed her again. Second, I guess she felt like a nice nap. So she napped as I watched the hours tick away. Under normal circumstances, a lengthy nap is a welcome occurrence. But not that day! Not my only day to hit the streets! But the alternative was to have a grumpy, tired baby on my hands in the middle of mall mania. No way. Not this elf. Needless to say, momma never made it out and what followed were crazy dashes here and there to the stores after work. But it all got done—by Christmas Eve.

This Christmas was different than most. Of course, it was Raine’s first Christmas, but it was also my first Christmas away from the family. It really hit me that I was a grown up with my own family to worry about. We did the Christmas thing with Raine’s two half brothers. They were determined to spend the holidays with their baby sister, and I’m glad we made it happen. So for a week I was responsible for 3 tykes. I must admit it was mostly Daddy-o who did the caretaking. I didn’t take time off for the holidays (it really wasn’t planned that way-I swear), so I worked while he watched the kids. He did a great job. I just had to go on duty as soon as I entered the door in the evening. I felt this overwhelming urge to educate them. I figured I had to read to them. Keep them from playing games 24-7. I can at least say that they didn’t lose any brain cells while they were here! But having kids around helped to shake off the holiday hum drums—all of the hustle and bustle and money! But the sheer joy in the kids’ faces when they turned the corner and saw the tree was truly priceless.

And drum roll please…Raine can now walk! At 10 months (nearly 11) she was moved to take a few steps over the holidays. I think we better hold on because Bam Bam (as we lovingly call her) gets into enough as it is. Now that she’s getting this walking thing down, she will only find more goodies to destroy.

And another drum roll please…I’ve been feeling mighty old lately and feeling like I had "middle-aged mother" stamped on my head. Not that I’m looking, but an occasional inappropriate “Hey shorty” is welcome from time to time just for self-esteem reasons. So, I just went downstairs to grab something to eat and a youngin’ (we’re talking early 20s) followed me into the food joint to ask if we could “talk” for a minute. I declined the invitation, of course, but could momma be getting her mojo back for the ’08?

Marcia Caster
Senior Editor, Beauty and Fashion
mcaster@heartandsoul.com

New Mommy Files, Part 22

2007-12-02T10:33:00.000-05:00

The holidays are here! Thanksgiving was great! It was a smaller than usual gathering, but the sentiment was still the same. Raine’s first holiday season is so exciting. She had creamed corn, gravy and mash potatoes as part of her Thanksgiving feast. And, it was straight off my plate! No Gerber’s here. She can eat real food. It seems like only yesterday when I was a one-woman feeding machine. She also likes her auntie’s pasta salad. I’ve never seen gums work so hard! She has a hearty appetite. She got it from her momma.

It is true that the holidays get a bit (or a lot) of a boost when kids are involved. Any jaded feelings that may have latched on to you over the years melt away. I’m so excited for Christmas and scared that I won’t be prepared. I was even one of those crazy people who shopped at midnight on Black Friday (gotta be one of the first 500 to get that $10 savings certificate)! But since that disaster (I wasn’t one of the first 500 despite arriving at 12:02 and I stood in line longer than I shopped!), I haven’t ventured into a store. I think this is going to be an online year. Good luck to me with that since Raine can really get around these days. She crawls and walks herself around the table. Anything that she’s not supposed to have she wants. I hear that’s typical.

So I’m making this short; I’m diving head first into the holidays today—baby in tow. I guess we’ll come up for air tomorrow.

Marcia Caster
Senior Editor, Beauty and Fashion
mcaster@heartandsoul.com

It's Time to Get Serious About HIV/AIDS

2007-12-01T00:21:00.000-05:00

Dear Black America,

My name is Gil Robertson IV, editor of the bestselling, landmark anthology Not in My Family: AIDS in the African American Community. Up until the release of my most recent book, I spent more than a decade as an arts and entertainment journalist, reporting on popular trends, events and personalities that populate the entertainment industry. However, in the summer of 2005, I became committed to writing about the HIV/AIDS epidemic, which by then had already gained a solid foothold within the African-American community, including my own family, with my brother living with the disease. So I decided to write a book that would highlight my family’s story, which I hoped would offer a measure of support and comfort to other families living in the shadows of this disease. However, as my idea developed, it quickly evolved to include other stories -- resulting in Not in My Family’s 58 essays from a wide cross-section of people sharing how HIV/AIDS has influenced and reshaped their lives.

Not in My Family was released last year on World AIDS Day, and since its publication, I have toured America extensively, connecting with members of the black community on a variety of issues involved with this disease. Away from wearing red ribbons, never-ending conferences and stagy speeches, my experience with this book has created an opportunity for me to engage with black people—up close, personal and for a real understanding about how we can begin as a community to effectively deal with this issue.

A year later, I have come away with a lot of confidence about how deeply African Americans care for their brethren. The problem is that a vast majority in the black community are confused and unsure about what they can do. Faced with overwhelming challenges coming from all directions, our community has been left beleaguered and vulnerable to HIV/AIDS and numerous other social ills.

So what do we do about HIV/AIDS? For starters, African Americans need to get honest and real about the fact that as sexual animals, we’re all susceptible to the disease. The finger pointing must end. We also must do away with our fear, prejudice and denial over sex and sexuality and accept the fact that this is not a gay disease (homosexuals were the most visible and vocal community affected by this disease). This disease has never been exclusive to any one group of people. The African-American community must drop all the falsehoods and misconceptions about HIV/AIDS. Many of us thought this disease would never touch our population in a significant way, but it has and it’s not going anywhere until we change our behavior and attitudes.

African Americans must develop the will and confidence to demand a change from the U.S. government, business community and medical institutions in terms of an aggressive response to this crisis. As citizens of a nation with the assets to land a man on the moon and finance wars on terror, African Americans should insist on nothing less than full engagement with regard to the federal support to solve the HIV/AIDS crisis in black communities. African Americans must be mindful of their contributions to America and the rest of the world. We must also remember what we are: the descendants of people who had the strength and resiliency to overcome Middle Passage, slavery and racial discrimination. In other words, we’re not asking for anything, but simply demanding the best support and treatment that we deserve.

On our own, it’s time for African Americans to accept responsibility and become accountable for how HIV/AIDS has spread within our families, neighborhoods and communities. We must move beyond having conversations about this problem and get busy with implementing the actual work for removing this disease out of our space. After connecting with so many of you during the past year, I know the black community has what it takes to get things done and that if we can come together, HIV/AIDS will be nothing but a bad, bad dream.

Gil Robertson IV

For more information on Not in My Family, please visit www.notinmyfamily.com

New Mommy Files, Part 21

2007-11-21T09:55:00.000-05:00

Raine knows how to kiss! It is the cutest thing. You just pucker up and make the kissy sound and she leans in to press her lips against yours. Aaaahhhh. I don't know how I feel about her putting so much energy into learning how to kiss. Why did she want to do that so quickly? Is it a sign of what's to come? I can't even think about it! For now, I'll just concentrate on the cute factor.

I've been hearing a lot about vaccines lately. What's so scary is the way certain vaccines are now being linked to autism. I don't know how certain the link is, but just the thought is enough to cause worry. What's a parent to do? Immunizations are vital, aren't they? I never gave much thought to them before. I was watching the news over the weekend and saw how a school district in Maryland is threatening to give jail time to parents who don't comply with the vaccination mandate. I don't want my child to run the risk of having to live with autism, and I don't want to go to jail. Will I have to one day make a choice?

The doctor gave Raine her shots so quickly I hardly knew what happened. You really do have to go into the doctor's office prepared. If you have questions, write them down. If your child had some strange symptom or something between visits, write that down, too. Once you make it into the office the doctor is on automatic. I really like our doctor; he's been with Raine since the day she was born. He always asks if I have any questions, but if it didn't occur on the way to the appointment, it has flown out of my head and doesn't decide to pop back in until after I get home. I know I'm repeating myself here, but organization is key when it comes to this baby thing.

Since I spoke to you last, I still haven't made a decision on how I'm going to structure my work life. What I do know is that I am going to have to restructure my attitude. I have to work with what I have. Although I miss Raine terribly during the week when she's with the grandparents and during the day when she's with my sister or her dad, it does give me time to get my hustle on to make things more the way I'd like them to be. So instead of complaining, I'm going to work. All of that laws of attraction stuff I've been reading on the bus is wearing off on me. If you think about what you don't want, you'll only get more of it. So think independently wealthy and the money (and nanny, in-law suite, personal trainer and vacation) will follow. It's worth a shot!

Marcia Caster
Senior Editor, Beauty & Fashion
mcaster@heartandsoul.com

New Mommy Files, Part 20

2007-11-04T18:12:00.001-05:00

I haven’t quite come to a decision on the whole work situation. I’ve prayed, meditated, read books, asked friends and family, called an angel guide (I know, I know) and sulked. But my goal is to decide over the weekend whether or not to opt for the freelance life again. If you think about it, I spend 12 hours a day wrapped up in work. From the time I get up in the morning to the time I enter the door at the end of the workday, I’m in a whole other world—one that has nothing to do with family life. Yes, it pays the bills. Yes, it’s a steady paycheck. But is that worth the lack of family time? Is it worth Raine being shuffled from household to household? I just can’t seem to justify it in my mind. Especially since I can freelance and get my own insurance. In my heart my mind is made up; now I just have to muster up the courage to make the change. We all just want a little more control over our days don’t we?

For the last 2 weeks Marc has watched Raine. It’s so funny. She really has him wrapped around her finger. She makes him hold her ALL DAY. She whimpers when he’s out of sight. And she wouldn’t sit and play longer than three minutes at a time. He called me a gazillion times a day. Mind you, this is a man that for the most part hates chatting on the phone. I’d come home to music playing, diapers littering the floor (why can’t they ever make it to the Magic Genie?) and cans of baby food across the kitchen counter. I love it, though. They are two peas in a pod. He always has it under control, even if it doesn’t look like it. They even ventured out a few times. And can I tell you she has a favorite song? She loves Alicia Keys’ new song. I don’t know the name, but it’s the one where Keys repeats “no one.” This song has literally stopped tears from flowing. Every time it comes on Raine looks for her dad. They dance together whenever it comes on. How cute.

I’ll let you know if I make my final decision over the weekend. Oh yeah. I have a question: Raine is really clingy these days. She won't let anyone but me, Marc, my mom, dad and sister hold her. Is this normal at eight months?

Marcia Caster
Senior Editor, Beauty and Fashion
mcaster@heartandsoul.com

New Mommy Files, Part 19

2007-10-22T00:03:00.000-05:00

Is this normal? Raine is so clingy these days. And, she’s super picky about who she will let hold her. As of this evening, the short list includes me, her dad (for short periods of time) my mom, my dad, my sister and her cousin India. We went visiting yesterday to see her paternal grandma. By the end of the visit Grandma was worn out and so was I. She’s a little busy body. But I guess this is normal for eight months. If you’re a stranger, she’s not having it.

So tomorrow will be very interesting, since daddy is watching her while I’m at work. I’m glad they will have time without me around. She was super bonded with him just a mere month ago, but I’m learning that with a baby, it only takes a few weeks away from home to switch the game completely. Which leads me to my latest new mommy decision: Do I go completely freelance? The pros? More control over my time. Flexibility. The family will be together more. Raine at home more. The weekend parenting is not what I had in mind. This move will allow me the time, but will everything else work out? The cons? No check every two weeks without fail. Less money. Paying for our insurance. So far, the pros are winning. Like I’ve said before, I feel like I’m not really living my life. It’s more like I’m just going through the motions of someone else’s life. I can see so clearly how people just end up bitter in the end of life. Giving up on dreams seems like the responsible thing to do. But how can you live without them? My favorite line now is from a BonJovi song. I’ve heard it a million times, but it rings so true now. "I want to live while I’m alive." Love it.

The jump is going to take a lot of faith. I’ve always run for the safety net, but in my heart I’m somebody else. The safety net has really gotten me nowhere. But now I have Raine. If I stay full time, it will be strictly because of money. Is that enough of a reason? I believe if you finally get in your lane in life, the money will follow. I’ll have to pray on it.

Marcia Caster
Senior Editor, Beauty and Fashion
mcaster@heartandsoul.com

New Mommy Files, Part 18

2007-10-13T20:48:00.000-05:00

On the road again. That's my theme song. Remember last week I headed to southern Virginia to visit Raine at my parent’s house? Well, before I blinked it was Friday again and time to hit the road. My week off from mommyhood had a highlight or two. The best one being my night out with two co-workers. We went to a little wine bar and downed two bottles of wine and four very appetizing appetizers. I’m not even a wine drinker but hey, they do say it does a heart good.

But more than my heart it did my mind good. It was nice to go out and not worry about getting home. And,these were non-moms so we didn’t talk about kids, either. Not that I’m not proud as punch over Raine, but at work I am slowly morphing into “the mom” one, and many of the non-work conversations people have with me revolve around motherhood. And anyone (even the guys) who has a little one on the way hit me up for information. I wonder what I used to talk about? And of all the conversation topics, parenthood is probably the subject I know the least about. It has only been eight months, you know. So I highly recommend a night out here and there to keep you young, and,even though it was a late night, refreshed! I'm going to try to sneak out again next week to a co-worker's baby shower happy hour (he’s the daddy and didn’t want the office pastel balloons). Hey, it’s a baby shower, but after the good time I had this week, I’ll take a night out any way I can get it.

Talk to you next week. I’ll have to fill you in on the Raine and Dad adventure. He’s going to have to watch her overnight solo tomorrow. She sticks to her schedule like clockwork, but I have a feeling she’s going to try to take her daddy for a ride. We’ll see.

Marcia Caster
Senior Editor, Beauty and Fashion
mcaster@heartandsoul.com

New Mommy Files, Part 17

2007-10-08T11:39:00.000-05:00

It’s “pass the baby” time. Raine and I had to pack up after I came home from work Friday night and haul down the road six hours to the grandparents so they can watch her for a few days. Lately I feel like I just have visitation rights. On one hand I’m very grateful I can work things so she can stay with family while I am at work. On the other hand, it comes at the cost of spending lots of time with her. It was nice last week. My sister watched her during the day and I just had a sleepover at her house. But it’s always a tradeoff: No time. Evening time, but I don't stay at my own home. Daddy watch her during the day, so I come home to her in the evenings at our own home, but when daddy is home during the day, daddy isn’t making money. Bad for everyone!

So I’m writing this to you from the country and mentally preparing myself to leave her behind. Who knew having a baby would turn your world around so much? I had an idea. But, really, I had no idea.

But Raine is almost eight months old and we are hanging in there. She has such a strong will and I can see the determination. She still looks just like her daddy, teeth and all. And I can finally put her hair in a ponytail. That’s the one thing she has in common with me; my hair in a ponytail is all that I can muster. But the baby is away you say? I know. But that only means that mommy works longer hours. I haven’t gotten this “me time” thing down yet.

One thing I do know is that having a little girl around makes me want to do more. I wonder if I would feel the way if I had a boy. I feel the need to set a path that she may want to follow. I want her to see me enjoying my work, taking care of myself, being self-sufficient. Oh the pressure. I’m working on it, but I admit I have a long way to go. Right now all I can think about is hitting the road tomorrow for that long trek home. But I’ll count my blessings. There’s nothing better than spending time with the grandparents. I remember the summers with mine and I’m glad that Raine gets to experience it, not only with her grandparents but her great-grandmother, too! What great memories are being made! How's that for looking at the bright side?

Marcia Caster
Senior Editor, Beauty and Fashion
mcaster@heartandsoul.com

Change Is in the Air

2007-10-05T16:57:00.000-05:00

This is a season for change. It’s what our October/November cover girl Tamia says in the story written by Heather Keets Wright, and Tamia ain’t never lied! For those of you who have been following the heartandsoul.com blogs, you know I started working out with a U.S. marine, Thurman Lofton. The workouts continue. In spite of being on the road all summer for Heart & Soul tour stops and various health workshops, Thurman (“The Marine,” as he’s affectionately known by members of my inner circle) has hung with me, and I’m starting to see results. My arms have more definition and my upper abs are starting to get flatter. And I could kick down brick walls with my calves! There is still work to be done on my lower abs and my thighs, but I can fit into clothing that was too tight back in May. Better: I’m no longer huffing and puffing when I climb the three flights of stairs to my front door.

I also cut my hair. Trust me, this is monumental. It hasn’t been this short since 1988. Folks who have known me for years walked right by and didn’t recognize me. My three little brothers (my teenage touchstones) saw it and immediately exclaimed, “Rihanna!” Looking like the Caribbean songstress wasn’t my intent. I wanted healthier hair (to go with my healthier body). So much to my Sorta Significant Other’s consternation, the long, unkempt ponytail with the scary split ends is gone.

Finally, it’s fall, the beginning of my favorite time of year. The leaves are changing, the air is crisper at night and the holidays are just around the corner. It’s also Breast Cancer Awareness Month, so remember to do your breast self-exams (BSEs). The experts can’t agree on whether or not these exams are helpful, but I believe BSEs, coupled with clinical breast exams and annual mammograms (if you’re 40 or older), have led to the growing number of women discovering their breast cancers at earlier, more treatable stages. If we can catch it earlier, perhaps we can reverse the trend of black women dying from beast cancer more often.

Until next time…be well!

Kendra Lee
Managing Editor
klee@heartandsoul.com

New Mommy Files, Part 16

2007-09-21T19:38:00.000-05:00

Having a job is, well, a job. But being a working mom is its own animal altogether. I've spoken to some of my other mommy friends so I know I am not alone when I simply say, "It's hard!" I'm not even bringing in the daycare part of the situation. I'm just talking about plain-out working. My level of concentration seems to have dropped along with the boobs. Why is it now nearly impossible for me to sit at my desk and think something through? And my memory has gone by the wayside, too. I look back fondly on the days when I could hold a thought I wanted to jot down long enough to make it back to my desk from the bathroom. I don't know whether to attribute these lapses on age, pregnancy, mommyhood or maybe it's a combination of all of the above.

I also didn't realize how useful quiet time at home was when it came to gathering my thoughts or organizing myself for work. Can't come up with a headline? No problem. I'll do it at home. Need to plan out an agenda for a meeting? No problem. I'll type it up at home. No more, honey. Those days are long gone. What I can't accomplish in a day's work just won't get done. I have tried too many times (unsuccessfully!) to clear my head and concentrate on work at home. Raine is a good baby, but she's not having that. Do it after she's gone to bed, you say? Well, by that time I'm completely burned out. So my options? Get up early and hit the computer before I hit the bus. Or add a few more hours to my day and work when the office gets quiet. Seeing that it is usually well after six before the office clears out, that doesn't seem like a viable option. I'll figure it out. I guess it all goes back to organizing your day and doing your best to stick to it.

One day before Raine is 18, I'll get the hang of it.

Marcia Caster
Senior Editor, Beauty and Fashion
mcaster@heartandsoul.com

New Mommy Files, Part 15

2007-09-11T10:29:00.000-05:00

Raine had a week with her dad, and it seems like they had a good time. Bananas for breakfast instead of rice cereal, playtime in the middle of the floor, toys covering every square inch of the floor. But as long as they had some quality time and everyone is in one piece, I’m happy. I can tell already that it’s going to be two against one. My hands are full.

Raine hit the seven-month mark today. I can’t believe that just seven months ago I was waddling around wondering what she would look like. The time has gone by so quickly and at the same time it’s only been seven months. I just love every little milestone. The teeth. The sitting up alone. The laughter. She’s definitely beginning to test us. I love the fake cries to get our attention. But as her dad says, “She’s the best.”

Our goal is to keep her out of daycare for the first year, and we are almost there. I have changed my outlook on spending so much time during the week away from her. It’s impossible to do it alone. And there’s no better help than the genuine help you get from family.

And everyone, I’m happy to report that I am down almost 9 pounds. Nine pounds makes such a difference. I told you all how my weight just got stuck after the initial 20 pounds dropped off after Raine’s birth. A little Billy Blanks Boot Camp and my 9-minute abs routine is working out. But I really think it was giving up the train ride and walking to my office from the bus station that is putting me over the edge. We’re talking 16 blocks roundtrip! And I’m usually walking at the speed of light trying to catch the bus. But as I’m quickly learning, with a new baby or kids in general you just have to make it work. If the only regular exercise you can get is the walk to and from work, then that’s what it is. Look, I’m not complaining. I tried on my test pair of pants, really just as motivation to keep on eating light and walking, and lo and behold they fit! A little snug, but just a few months ago I couldn’t pull them up over my thighs—no exaggeration! Operation svelte mommy is still in effect.

How are you other new mommies battling the baby bulge and fitting a little exercise into your day? Let me know. I need all of the help I can get.

Marcia Caster
Senior Editor, Beauty and Fashion
mcaster@heartandsoul.com

New Mommy Files, Part 14

2007-08-31T12:50:00.000-05:00

I can’t believe the summer is over. Where did the time go? For Raine it has been a summer of change. She has morphed into this adorable little munchkin of a person. Her looks seem to change every day. I look at photographs that are only a week or so apart and she looks different in each of them. Of course, she looks just like her daddy. As one friend kindly asked, “Did you give her anything but the va-chay-chay?” From the looks of things, no.

So at seven months she can sit up by herself, and she has two-going-on-four teeth. I must say she’s handling the teething quite well. I know right now I have a cavity and I fret over it more than she frets over the four teeth cutting through her gums. She’s also been eating rice cereal and we just introduced Stage 1 bananas. We probably should have given her a veggie first, but she loves it! I don’t know; she may have to share. Baby applesauce was a favorite of mine well into my teens. I never liked chunky applesauce and it doesn’t get much smoother than baby food. I bet it’s a low-calorie snack, too. I also notice that she is really trying to keep up with her 5-year old-cousin India. That is her girl! When India talks she babbles along like she’s having the best gossipy conversation. She follows her every move with her eyes and everything. I’m going to have to keep my eyes on her once she starts moving on her own. There’s been no crawling yet. She gets in position and pushes off with her back legs, but she doesn’t move an inch. Eventually she just ends up rolling over on her back until the next try.

Speaking of another try—on my previous posts, I lamented about Raine spending so much time away from me. Between me working and her spending time with the grandparents, I was starting to feel really guilty. I’m now going to try to look on the bright side and take the advice of my friend Monique who posted that I should cherish the time alone while Raine bonded with family. (I should take the word “try” out since I heard a motivational type say that trying is just failing with dignity. I love that.) So I’m looking at the silver lining. I just started this new outlook today. As I was heading to work I was reading Manifest Your Destiny by Wayne W. Dyer. I’ve had this book for a good 10 years and never read it completely—hence my un-manifested life. But it really is just like all The Secret stuff. In short, he says to put out what you want in return. So the more I complain or feel down or guilty or sorry for myself, the more I get just that. So we’ll see how long I stay on the positive, happy train. This nice four-day weekend is a perfect time to start.

Happy Labor Day!

Marcia Caster
Senior Editor, Beauty and Fashion
mcaster@heartandsoul.com

New Mommy Files, Part 13

2007-08-28T23:32:00.000-05:00

We all need support. That’s what I’m finding out. When my friend out in L.A. years ago chimed on about the lifeline that is Mocha Moms, I thought it was cute but I didn’t quite get it. But I see now that connecting with other moms not only helps you keep your sanity, but it also helps you realize you’re not really crazy. And the connection doesn’t have to be a formal one. A phone call. An e-mail. Sometimes that’s enough. This week I had a little of both.

Also this week, I walked around with Raine’s doctor’s number in my pocketbook. I needed to call to reschedule her appointment that we missed. I’m straight embarrassed that we missed it. So embarrassed that I couldn’t call. I don’t know why. I just feel like the biggest loser mom who forgot her daughter’s appointment because I was on a mission to get my car tags changed! Now in my defense, the appointment was originally August 18th. But the receptionist called me to change it to the 11th. I remembered this while I was in line at the DMV 8:00 on the morning of the 11th! Maybe if I had stayed at home even a night during the last three weeks, I would have seen it posted up on the refrigerator. But during the weeks leading up to that Saturday (and thank goodness her doctor has weekend hours!), we were at my sister’s place for daycare reasons. Oh well, I hear memory loss is common among pregnant ladies and new mommies. But between you and me, I’m going to lie when I call and say we had a family emergency.

On to the weight loss: I’m down about seven pounds. My size 10 pants are a bit baggy. But I still don’t understand why my stomach won’t deflate. I do situps and a little TaeBo. I can only fit in about 30 minutes of the hour and a half tape but I do work up a sweat. Raine is almost seven months and I’ve only lost a pound a month. I can’t but into words the frustration! And damn that Mel B. “Scary Spice” woman. I just saw pictures of her in a bikini! It’s so unfair! Damned those celebrities for making the real world seem so impossible! But I’m in a contest with a co-worker, so maybe that will help give me a boost. I really want a personal trainer and a nutritionist, but there’s absolutely no money for that. So I guess I’m on my own and will keep that bikini in the trunk for next year—hopefully!

Marcia Caster
Senior Editor, Beauty and Fashion
mcaster@heartandsoul.com

New Mommy Files, Part 12

2007-08-19T21:52:00.000-05:00

Organization, organization. That’s what is lacking here. But the truth is, there’s no time for it. In my quest to determine whether or not a woman can have it all, my findings are supporting my theory that we can’t. Something always has to give.

I was talking to a new-mommy friend and she said that she has cried just about every day since returning to work. I mean, this was a well-planned pregnancy. Husband. Great house. Two incomes. But nothing is as heart-wrenching as having to give up your child and go to work. They are actually considering selling the house and going back to apartment living so she can stay home and work on her consulting business. And it’s not so much the work—we both agreed that we would eventually get very bored not doing something—but it’s the total loss of control. You have no choice in the matter. You really begin to think about how much you could accomplish if you had those hours to yourself. In my case with travel and all, I lose 13 hours of my day. Add to that, the 5 or 6 hours of sleep I try to squeeze in, and I only have five hours to take care of Raine, keep the house presentable (right now, it looks like the “before” in those organization shows), pay bills, exercise, keep up with friends, visit family, do freelance work… You’re beginning to get my point.

Raine’s dad is an alpha male and although he has stayed home with her, he goes out to make money. But when he’s here, I don’t have to cook, really I don’t need to lift a finger. I wish he’d clean though. He’ll do a deep, thorough cleaning, but that happens on his clock, which ends up being only about once a year. But you can’t tell him that. I am 100 percent sure that if the men were the primary caregivers, they would crack. Women are much better at balancing on the day-to-day level.

Raine is growing. I feel really bad because over the past week I’ve seen her just 30 minutes. She is now on the road with her cousin India to visit her great-grandmother. So it’ll be another week of me, myself and I. Which in theory sounds like just what I need. But it only depresses me. Did I really wait this late in life to have a child not to have time for her? This is so wrong. I hear all this adjustment stuff is normal. But that doesn’t make it any easier.

I’ll end on a good note: I’m finally beginning to see my stomach deflate. I went all last week without wearing my high-waisted Spanx! It's been six months, so I can only say that it is about time. I’ve lost about seven pounds, primarily by snacking on small meals throughout the day instead of the three big meals. I’ve also been drinking A LOT of coffee. I don’t know if the caffeine has anything to do about it. I do squeeze in three half-hour workouts a week.

Ladies, I really want to know what adjustments you HAD to make to make this all work. Hit me at the e-mail address below and let me know.

Until next time…

Marcia Caster
Senior Editor, Beauty and Fashion
mcaster@heartandsoul.com

New Mommy Files, Part 11

2007-08-09T20:33:00.000-05:00

Can we have it all? Family? Career? Hot body? Vacation time? Steamy relationship? Friends? Great hair? Well this ponytailed girl is beginning to think not. It’s getting kinda hectic around here. My hats are off to all of the mothers out there who are climbing the corporate ladder, pursuing entrepreneurial ventures, living far from family and friends, or just plain looking good. Raine’s dad and I are tag teaming it the best we can. Plus, we have the support of family who help in a huge way. But the juggling act I perform every day creates more than a three-ring circus. I’m beginning to think that the moms who appear to have it all together are either jobless, rich, or never see their kids.

This blog was supposed to be all about babies. But I’m quickly learning mommyhood has less to do about the actual baby and more about you. How do you handle stress? How organized are you? What kind of support system do you have? Do you have a sense of humor? All of these things determine how well you adapt to your new life. Let me tell you, this week was rough. I had an official meltdown in front of my boss. I couldn’t take it. I’m half living at my sister’s because she watches Raine during the day (what a huge blessing!), and she lives 45 minutes away from me. By the time I get to her house from work, there’s really no point in heading home. Plus Marc has been away for the better part of a month because of his ailing grandmother. Mail is piling up. Bills are late. And I’m realizing I’m not as organized as I thought I was.

When big poppa gets back in town, we’re having a powwow. Time to buckle up and be grown up! (I was afraid that was going to eventually happen.) I’ll let you know how it goes. How do you moms out there keep it all together? Do you live by a schedule? Wake up at 4 a.m. to exercise? Have a mandatory date night with your significant other? Work part-time? Please let a sista know. I know some changes have to be made but I just want to make the right ones. Lucky for us Raine is a chill baby. She just sits back and watches Mommy and Daddy trying to keep everything on track.

With all of the packing I’ve been doing over the last three weeks, I’ve realized that with a baby, the overnight bag does not exist! We stayed in Virginia two nights and between the three of us had two uprights, two duffel bags, two computer totes, one diaper tote and a garment bag. I did come across some items that the whole family can use, though. That’s a few less bottles and jars to pack. Carol’s Daughter's Tui Hair Oil is great! Marc uses it all of the time. It smells so good and it only takes a dab on little Raine’s hair to give it sheen and softness. To rid the family of ash, try Vaseline Intensive Care’s Baby Oil gel; it’s a lot safer to pack than the ready-to-spill baby oil and it gives Momma’s skin a sexy sheen. On those humid, miserably hot days, I borrow Raine’s lavendar scented Johnson & Johnson’s Baby Powder. It’s cool and refreshing! Let me know if you have any more products that you, Dad and the baby can share.

Talk to you next week!

Marcia Caster
Senior Editor, Beauty and Fashion
mcaster@heartandsoul.com

New Mommy Files, Part 10

2007-07-29T10:53:00.000-05:00

Last week I was writing to you all at 7:30 Saturday morning, right before taking a trip down south so Raine could see her dad and ailing great-grandmother. I'm back at it again. It’s around 8:30 am Saturday and I am once again heading south. Initially this trip was for a happy reason—my aunt and uncle’s 50th wedding anniversary (God bless ‘em). But I just heard that Raine’s great-grandmother has passed away. Last week my prediction was correct—Raine did put quite a few smiles on her father’s face as he was dealing with his grandmother’s condition. So once again I hope little Raine can remind everyone about the cycle of life. It doesn’t make losing a loved one any easier, but it can’t hurt.

On the mommy end—I lost 4 pounds! Something about going down to Virginia melts off a few pounds. Could the NY air be flooded with calories along with the bus and car exhaust? I’m beginning to wonder. I hesitate to step on the scale this week because we’ve had plenty of fund-raiser bake offs at work. But I’ve eaten a lot of sushi and worked my Windsor Pilates DVD. It’s not melting off fast enough with all of these cute summer dresses! It’s pure torture when I grab what I would usually wear and it looks horrendous. I’m quickly learning that having the baby was the easy part. Losing the pounds is much harder. And if even the thought of having another child pops up, I can’t start where I am now. I can see what my future holds if I don’t get this weight off: high blood pressure, diabetes. All of those conditions that have a grip on our people.

I’m off to the highways. Have a great weekend!

Marcia Caster
Senior Editor, Beauty and Fashion
mcaster@heartandsoul.com

Atlanta, Here We Come!

2007-07-28T10:59:00.001-05:00

Do you love the Buick/Heart & Soul Health and Wellness Pavilion tour? Do you want more? Have no fear; this tour is far from over! We’ve made our mark in Dallas, Memphis, Baltimore, and now we are headed to Atlanta.

Heart & Soul will be visiting Atlanta’s Stone Mountain Park from noon to 6 p.m. on July 28. Radio One’s family of four stations will create a festival that will be one of the biggest urban family events of the summer, filled with celebrities performers, tons of food and plenty of family fun. The Buick/Heart & Soul Health and Wellness Pavilion is the perfect “vehicle” to showcase our brands.

The Heart & Soul team of specialists, including fitness expert Mocha Lee, nutritionist Surina Jordan, Ph.D., and Healthy Weight Plan chef Kathryn Clay, who had lost more than 50 pounds, will give health and fitness demonstrations that are guaranteed to help you have a healthier lifestyle. Crème of Nature, Black Radiance and Nubian Heritage will also be joining us again to provide lots of fun, lots of information and a ton of free give-a-ways.

Plus, you can learn about our cover model search and meet publisher Edwin Avent, as well as editorial director Yanick Rice Lamb and contributing editor Joyce Davis, both of whom will be signing copies of their latest books. Yanick is the co-author of "Born to Win: The Authorized Biography of Althea Gibson" (Wiley) and "Rise & Fly: Tall Tales and Mostly True Rules of Bid Whist." Joyce is author of the popular teen book "Can't Stop the Shine" (Kimani Press).

Our last stop in Baltimore was full of history and culture. The audience listened to great music while participating in exhilarating health and fitness demonstrations. If you haven’t attended already, trust me, you want to visit the next tour stop near you.

Soul mates don’t forget to come back to www.heartandsoul.com and give us feedback on what you thought of our tour. We want to hear your success stories, or if we need to improve. Our goal is to help you live a healthy, wealthy and wise lifestyle.
2007 Buick/Heart & Soul Health and Wellness Pavilion Tour

June 16
Dallas, Fair Park Fairgrounds

June 23
Memphis, Audubon Park

June 6, 7, 8
Baltimore, Camden Yards

July 28
Atlanta, Stone Mountain Park

Aug. 11
Washington, D.C., RFK Stadium

Aug. 19
Philadelphia, Benjamin Franklin Parkway

Sept. 2
Houston, Eleanor Tinsley Park

Dominique Jones
Intern

New Mommy Files, Part 9

2007-07-20T08:03:00.000-05:00

It's 7 a.m. and I’m about to hit the road to go pick up Raine from her week with the grandparents. Remember I wrote last week how organized and structured my week had to be? For the most part it was. But I surely didn’t complete all the tasks that I wanted to. My co-workers had to chuckle at how scheduled I was. Monday and Tuesday evenings I was scheduled down to the hour: 7:30-8:30 go to grocery store, 8:30-9:00 clean kitchen, 9:00-9:15 take out the trash. I even gave myself 10 minutes to slap rollers in my hair. Call me crazy, but it worked. Monday was by far my best day and I plan to continue to plan my days. I felt such a sense of accomplishment. I had to wonder what in the world I did with all of the spare time I had pre-baby. I can only conclude that I was a total slouch!

But my week got a little out of whack because Raine’s great-grandmother is very sick. I never knew my great-grandparents, so it is amazing to me that Raine has two great-grandmothers. Her dad’s grandmother is in the hospital, so I spent most of my evenings on the phone with him. This all leads up to why I’m picking up Raine. We’re going to head to her dad. He needs to see her. Right now he is consumed with the hospital and his grandmother; Raine will give him a mental break.

I’ve found it doesn’t matter how bad your day is, you have to smile when there is a baby around. Raine was a little ray of sunshine with my parents this week, too, because they were dealing with funeral arrangements for my dad’s aunt. Every time I called I could hear family that had gathered either playing with, feeding or talking about Raine. It got even better when 5-year old cousin India hit the scene yesterday. You just have a lighter heart when kids are around—especially young ones (I don’t know a thing about teenager angst). So once again, baby Raine is on tour, and I’m glad she will be able to meet her aunt and uncle on her dad’s side of the family.

I’m prepared to be the invisible mother this weekend while Raine grabs the spotlight. And she’s so cool about it too. At five months, she’s recognizing familiar faces and giving the gas face to strangers. But she warms up to people pretty quickly. She just had her doctor’s appointment and she’s grown about an inch and gained about a pound, coming in at a whopping 13! She makes for great exercise for the arms! Gotta go pack the car—I only scheduled 20 minutes to write this blog. Enjoy the weekend!

Marcia Caster
Senior Editor, Beauty and Fashion
mcaster@heartandsoul.com

New Mommy Files, Part 8

2007-07-16T11:45:00.000-05:00

Raine is off to the grandparents for the week. I’m just getting back from dropping her off—a six-hour roundtrip. You do what you gotta do these days. So I’m anxious to see how disciplined I can be this week to get a lot accomplished. Everything from paying bills to cleaning to shaving my legs. Hey, speaking of mommy maintenance, I found a great product— Heel Balm by Flexitol—if your heels are getting a little crusty. I admit mine are a bit cracked. I blame walking the NYC streets in flip-flops.

I’m on the hunt for some great baby products, too. I would love to go natural with Raine. Wouldn’t that be great? But let’s be realistic: It ain’t happening. If anyone can spread the knowledge about lotions or hair products for babies that you really like I’d appreciate it. I want to find products the whole family can use. We do use (including baby Raine) Carol’s Daughter Tui Hair Oil. Love it! And at $18 it’s worth it with the three of us rubbing it on.

Since the last post Raine’s two bottom teeth have really popped through and she is trying to sit up alone. She’s almost there. The teeth are dangerous though. I still try to breastfeed Raine at night, but she bit me so hard that I am seriously reconsidering. At five months she is also eating solid foods. Just a few tablespoons of rice cereal a day. She loves it. Most of it ends up on her face, but she grabs the spoon and shoves it in her mouth. She loves food and sleep. Now that’s my girl!

Speaking of food, I’m trying to eat better. I’ve cut back on the bread and try to snack more sensibly. I just can’t eat half a pizza anymore. The Windsor Pilates DVD I bought is fun, though I haven’t done it enough to see a difference yet.

I miss Raine already. I’m home alone. Hopefully Daddy will be home most of this week so we can have some couple time. It is work keeping that alive! All the touchy-touchy goes to Raine. She gets all of the hugs and all of the kisses. Her dad is absolutely in love with her. She may be the only woman in the entire world who can get this man to jump at her command! I’m a little jealous. I read that the transfer of affection goes to the baby in many cases. I didn’t believe it but it is so true. Your touch quota really gets filled up with the baby.

So a lot needs to be accomplished this week--cleaning, organizing, life planning, date time...all around the work schedule. I’ll let you know how it goes. And please, you other mothers out there, share with me how you keep the home fires burning!

Marcia Caster
Senior Editor, Beauty and Fashion
mcaster@heartandsoul.com

New Mommy Files, Part 7

2007-07-08T08:30:00.000-05:00

Little Raine is five months old today. She has two new teeth coming in and everything! It's been a short five months. Within a five-month period I've had my maternity leave, gone back to work and in general adjusted to this new life. But the time is going by so fast. Two teeth today, college tomorrow. I'm more worried about myself than I am about her when it comes to this flying time. When you have a little one looking up to you, it puts the heat on to be the best you that you can be. I feel far from that.

Especially having a little girl—you just want her to grow up and be the bomb. And I know I am going to be the first person she looks to for the blueprint. So I don't know how much longer I can go through my days not leading the life that I know I'm supposed to be living. You know that nagging feeling you have that something else is out there for you? I've dragged my feet before but now it seems almost criminal.

The challenge? Finding the time to clear my head enough to let my thoughts gather. You know the robot I talked about a few entries back? It's still happening. But I'm going to try to shake it off—between spending a total of 13 hours a day getting to work, working and getting home from work. Children really do make you aware of time. All you new mommies, let's try to use the minutes wisely.

There was a tip I wanted to share with you today but I can't for the life of me remember! My mind has really gone to mush lately. The memory is fading fast. As soon as I remember I'll share it. Well, it's time to give Raine a bath and hopefully get her to sleep.

Marcia Caster
Senior Editor, Beauty and Fashion

Home Sweet Home!

2007-07-06T08:01:00.000-05:00

Do you want more Heart & Soul magazine? Do you need tips for living a healthy, wealthy and wise lifestyle? Then want no more! The Buick/Heart & Soul Health and Wellness Pavilion tour is coming to a city near you. This amazing tour will visit Baltimore, Atlanta, Washington, D.C., Philadelphia and Houston.

Come join the fun and excitement July 6 (5 p.m. to 7 p.m.), 7 and 8 (noon to 6 p.m. both days) at the next stop at the Camden Yards in our hometown … Baltimore! This family-oriented empowerment series is guaranteed to help you make healthy, life-altering decisions. Heart & Soul magazine will promote health and wellness under air-conditioned tents, offering massages, manicures and health screenings.

Workshops, seminars and demonstrations include Body Clinic with workouts led by Charles Harris of Chezel-It Fitness Center in Baltimore; Natural Healing with tips from nutritionist Surina Jordan, Ph.D., and Soul Kitchen with healthy cooking techniques from Healthy Weight Plan chef Kathryn Clay. Plus, you can meet Heart & Soul editor Yanick Rice Lamb, managing editor Kendra Lee and other members of the team. Find out how you can land on the pages or cover of this popular magazine. This is definitely something you don’t want to miss!

Heart & Soul wants you to leave this tour well educated about living healthier, which is why you will receive the latest issue of the magazine when you visit our tent and subscribe or renew your subscription. Celebrate your man with the June/July issue of Heart & Soul. Honor good fathers, and praise black men who are getting it done in the community. Learn how to recognize the symptoms of his depression and how to help him seek treatment. You will also be given the wonderful opportunity to subscribe to Heart & Soul and become a soul mate!

After visiting the Heart & Soul Health and Wellness Pavilion tour, come back to our blog at www.heartandsoul.com and tell us what you think. We want to hear your success stories! Let us know how we helped or if there is anything else we can do to improve your healthy, wealthy and wise lifestyle.

If you can’t make it to a tour stop, visit us regularly at www.heartandsoul.com. In addition to the wealth of information that we normally offer, you can find out what you missed on our blogs. We are providing great feedback and exclusive photos straight from the tour locations.

The tour’s first stop was in Dallas at the 6th Annual Stone Soul Picnic at the Fair Park Fairgrounds. This family affair was the largest Juneteenth Festival in the Dallas-Fort Worth area. “What a fun event,” said Darlene Jett of Bishop’s Day Spa in Dallas. “Your staff was great, and my girls had a great time enjoying all those beautiful clients. We were happy to represent Heart & Soul magazine.”

The second stop in Memphis at the Audubon Park was packed with even more excitement. I had the pleasure of experiencing the fun and activities myself, and I didn’t want to go home. This is truly one family reunion that you won’t want to leave. Stay tuned for more updates on our various locations. Next stop … Atlanta!

Dominique Jones
Intern

2007 Buick/Heart & Soul Health and Wellness Pavilion Tour
June 16 Dallas, Fair Park Fairgrounds
June 23 Memphis, Audubon Park
July 6, 7, 8 Baltimore, Camden Yards
July 28 Atlanta, Stone Mountain Park
Aug. 11 Washington, D.C., RFK Stadium
Aug. 19 Philadelphia, Benjamin Franklin Parkway
Sept. 2 Houston, TBA

A Different Debate

2007-07-04T08:51:00.000-05:00

AIDS, Katrina, jobs and education—all important issues that don’t receive enough attention during presidential debates. The first leg of the “All-American Presidential Forums on PBS” (http://www.pbs.org/kcet/tavissmiley/special/forums/) was remarkably different in that it focused primarily on these topics. It was also remarkably different in that the questions came from journalists of color: DeWayne Wickham, a columnist for USA Today; Michel Martin, host of “Tell Me More” on NPR; and Ruben Navarette Jr., a columnist for the San Diego Union-Tribune.

Hailed as the first major debate with a diverse panel in prime time, it was long overdue. Sitting in Cramton Auditorium at Howard University on Thursday, June 28, I felt proud that it was happening at my graduate alma mater where I also teach journalism, but I was also a little annoyed that it has taken this long.

Why are we still celebrating “firsts” in 2007?

The insightful questions posed by the stellar panel and their credentials proved once again that we should be a mainstay in debates, Sunday morning roundtables and anything else that “matters.” Kudos to PBS host and moderator Tavis Smiley for making it happen—and for helping to bring four students from Tennessee to join political movers and shakers in the front rows.

Some complain that the war in Iraq got short shrift during the debate. The war was primarily mentioned in the context of draining funds that could go toward AIDS, Katrina, jobs and education. While the war is important and needs to end, it’s become one of those evergreen topics that’s always on the table, but never has a real resolution. It was refreshing to hear it discussed through different frames—frames that really too often get short shrift.

From our standpoint at Heart & Soul, the quote of the day came when Hillary Clinton said, “If HIV/AIDS were the leading cause of death of white women between the ages of 25 and 34, there would be an outraged outcry in this country.”

It’s been 25 years since the first AIDS case was officially documented. During that time, HIV/AIDS drew a bigger spotlight when it was thought of as a problem plaguing gay, white men. Now that black women are at the center of the epidemic, there’s silence. We need to pump up the volume and make it clear that this shouldn’t happen no matter who is affected.

Let the politicians who represent you—and especially those who want to—hear your voices loud and clear. Tell them to fight harder against HIV/AIDS, to push for economic equality, to quit leaving our schools behind, to end the war—in Iraq and on drugs in our communities. (Check out our three-part series on addiction, which begins in the August/September issue.)

Catch what the Republicans have to say at Tavis Smiley’s next stop at Morgan State University on September 27, 2007, which happens to be my birthday. Help me celebrate by becoming more active and informed. And please, exercise your right to vote in each and every election. Too many of our ancestors died so that we could have power at the ballot box. Let’s not waste a drop of the blood they shed.

From my heart to yours,

Yanick Rice Lamb
Editorial Director
yricelamb@heartandsoul.com

New Mommy Files, Part 6

2007-07-01T22:38:00.000-05:00

It really does take a village to raise a child. I don’t know what I’d do if I didn’t have people to turn to for a helping hand. The only reason that I am able to write this right now is because Raine is with her Auntie for the afternoon. I’m lucky. I do have a support system. But it is still difficult to keep up. Organizations like Mocha Moms seemed cute but hardly necessary during my pre-mommy days. Now I completely see the value in them. I see why my girlfriend in California so looked forward to the Mocha Mom get-togethers and play dates. It’s nothing like being around women who share similar hurdles and triumphs. And having an extra hand or two in the same room as your charming little one doesn’t hurt, either. Even when Raine’s dad is knocked out on the couch, it’s still easier to take care of a child with someone else around. Simple things like taking a shower or washing the dishes takes an ingenious plan or two. I’ve strapped Raine on me in her Snugli as I cooked and strolled her around in the baby carriage as I cleaned the house. Whatever works.

And you know, you really can’t be shy about asking for help. I hate asking for help in any area of life (which isn’t good). But not asking for help when it comes to raising a child is not good for parents or baby. Nothing is worse for a child than a stressed out, overextended parent. So I’ve had to put my pride on the shelf and ask for a break when I need it. Granted, it’s only been 5 months since I’ve entered mommyhood, but that is one lesson that I learned quick. And I encourage all new mommies and daddies to reach out and ask for resources, a helping hand or a break whenever necessary. Your whole family will benefit.

On to a very practical tip—I found a new use for my exercise ball. It’s great for getting Raine to sleep. We have our little evening routine—a sudsy bath, baby massage and then I feed her while I sit on the ball. The bouncing action of the ball takes the work away from my arms that usually get the bounce going. I highly recommend one. It helps with the sit-ups, too, but I must be honest here: I use it mostly to get Raine to drift off to sleep.

I’m not talking about my weight this week. No major pound loss to report. My girlfriend reminded me again to give myself 9 months to get this weight off and I am taking her advice. I’ve looked into a gym down the street that has daycare. I think I’m going to have to go that route. A little exercise (or in my case, a lot) will do this body good!

Marcia Caster
Senior Editor, Beauty and Fashion

Are We Having Fun Yet?

2007-06-27T22:25:00.000-05:00

I pulled two muscles—one in my back and one in my right arm. This was during the “light” workout with my Marine personal trainer. My friend Chris, sympathetic soul that he is, said, “Well, no offense, but that usually happens if you’re not in shape.” Duh. Why does he think I hired a personal trainer in the first place?

No worries. I was only sidelined for a week, and I was back at it Monday (though my arms are so sore today I can hardly lift them, but that’s another blog for another day). I’m determined to get in shape. And not just because I have a convention coming up in August (I would SO love to be the Kendra I was—size-wise, anyway—in 1994), but because my health—my very life—is at stake. Diabetes runs in my family. Heart disease runs in my family. High blood pressure runs in my family. Cancer—you guessed it—runs in my family. I’m convinced these health problems have mowed down generations of Howards and Lees because too many of my family members carried around too much weight and spent too little time being active. And they believed too much that these health issues were inevitable.

They were wrong. If everyone had this attitude, nothing would get accomplished (and we’d all die too young), as I was reminded during a recent trip to Detroit for the Ford Freedom Award. The award, in its ninth year, had a medical theme this year, and renowned neurosurgeon Ben Carson and Howard University Hospital founder, the late Charles B. Purvis, M.D., were honored. If Dr. Carson, once a very poor student and this year’s Ford Freedom Scholar, had thrown in the towel, he’d never have become the incredible miracle worker he is today. Without Dr. Purvis, this year’s Ford Freedom Honoree and one of the first university-trained African-American physicians in this country, there might not be a Howard University Hospital today—or any other hospitals attached to historically black universities, for that matter.

So although my thighs are screaming, and my arms are making a sound at an octave only a dog can hear, I’ll be hanging out with the Marine again tomorrow. A fit Kendra can’t hold a candle to the accomplishments of Drs. Carson and Purvis, but it’s a step in the right direction against inevitability. Wish me luck!

Kendra Lee
Managing Editor

New Mommy Files, Part 5

2007-06-24T09:05:00.000-05:00

Raine’s dad was home all week and watched her while I was at work. It’s funny how my sister (who’s been pitching in and watching Raine for us) and my mom worried out loud whether or not he could handle it. But I had faith and Raine needed the 24 hours a day of one-on-one quality time. Well he did it, and I only received a couple of calls during the day. I’ve noticed when dads do what moms do every day all day it is touted as a special accomplishment. I guess it goes back to the idea that the man goes out and provides for the home and the woman keeps that home intact. I was definitely in the male role this week. I didn’t get home until 8 p.m.--just enough time to play with Raine a little bit, and then it was time to give her a bath and put her to sleep. It was easy to see that when we do finally have to put her in daycare, she’s going to be spending more waking time with the caregiver than with me. I just can’t stand it. I know it happens all the time, but I would feel so guilty. Aaahhh—the working mom guilt.

So now my working life has to fit around my, well, life. I told someone the other day I was glad that I waited so late to have a child because career really has to take a back seat. I still need to bring home the bacon, but it can't be at all costs. Working until 7 p.m. won’t be a viable option once formal daycare enters the picture. I’ve heard about all of those “pick-your-child-up-late fees.” I’ve thought about getting a part-time job to supplement my freelance gig. Or maybe try to go freelance all the way. I have to create a different kind of life so I can tend to my most important job--being Raine’s mom.

Can I tell you I really didn’t think I would have these kinds of worries? Before I had a child, in my head I knew I would have no problems dropping him or her off and just keep moving. But I cried like a baby my first day back at work and I was only taking her to my sister’s house! I’m a total wimp right now. But we’ll work it out.

Speaking of working it out. I did no working out and the scale shows it. Last week I was 146.8 and as of this morning I’m 147.8. I barely eat, which I know may contribute to the problem, but I think I’m going to have to join a gym. Seriously. Drink more water. Drink more water. Eat more salad. Eat no meat. That has to be my mantra from here on out. This weight is not budging, but I’m trying not to let it depress me. As always, I’ll keep you posted.

Marcia Caster
Senior Editor, Beauty and Fashion

Bringing Fun Back to Fitness

2007-06-16T22:54:00.000-05:00

In the interest of full disclosure, I’ll start by admitting I hate working out. That’s bad, I know, for the managing editor of Heart & Soul, the pre-eminent health and fitness magazine for African-American women, to say she doesn’t like exercising. But you should know up front that I’m just like you: trying to balance my work life with my home life and squeezing my fitness in (grudgingly) where I can.

I’m so bad about the fitness part that I had to hire someone who will kick my butt and keep me in gear, or I’ll accidentally-on-purpose get sidetracked and start crying in public in six months when I’ve gained 20 more pounds and I’m standing on a stage somewhere, giving a speech and my pants are too tight to button. Enter Thurman Lofton of UnderConstruction Fitness. He’s a U.S. Marine with 17 years of experience. And on day one of our sessions together, he had me crying “uncle,” even though he said it was a “light” workout. He also said I have good form and will be in shape in no time. That’s a good thing, because the whole time he was putting me through my paces, I was gritting my teeth and hating it.

It wasn’t always this way. I remember being a kid and spending entire summers on my bike. Or playing softball on the ponytail league and quick games of two-hand touch football with my cousins. I climbed trees and hiked in the woods (in spite of my fear of spiders and ticks). In the winter I worked up a sweat building snow forts and making snow angels. I was always moving, and it didn’t seem like a workout. It wasn’t a workout; it was play.

My Sorta Significant Other and I just discussed this same thing. “Babe, I can play basketball all day long,” he said. “But when I jog, I’m out of breath very quickly. I’m huffing and puffing. I hate it.” We came to the conclusion that we’ll never get rid of our love handles if we don’t bring the fun back to our fitness.

He’s dusting off his basketball. It’s time for me to dig out my jump rope and hula-hoop!

Sisters, we're going to get healthy together. Let's keep each other posted on how we're doing!

Kendra Lee
Managing Editor

New Mommy Files, Part 4

2007-06-15T15:01:00.000-05:00

I realized something very important this week—moms can’t get sick. Of course this knowledge was floating around in my head, remembering my mom tending to the sick and shut-in as she sneezed and wheezed her way around. But it’s a bit more meaningful once it happens to you. Monday I just had to call in sick to work. I had the worst sore throat and head congestion and Raine had a fever from her round of four shots the doctor gave her over the weekend. Both of us were pretty pitiful; however, she was the only one who got to “sleep it off.”

Moms really do have to develop that extra something that keeps us going when all we want to do is jump in the bed and pull the covers over our heads—just like in the good old days. I slowly feel myself morphing into a robot; one with feelings but definitely one on automatic pilot. But we made it through our first sick day together. I guess we’ll have plenty more over the course of the next 18 years.

Now, about that weight loss I told you all about. Well I haven’t stepped on the scale this week, but last week I was one pound lighter. Yeah!! I’ll take what I can get. I feel lighter, but I’m not going to get all excited. I’ve cut back on the portions and the bread and added more water to the diet. But what I’m really excited about is the exercise. I discovered On Demand. I never channel surfed that high before, but around channel 1000 and something, Time Warner Cable has Exercise On Demand. It’s the only way I fit in any exercise. Everything is there. Yoga. Mommy Exercise. Pilates. Abs. Buns. Stretches. All in bite-sized snippets. Seven-minute abs class here. Fourteen-minute stretches there. Whenever Raine falls asleep I quickly tune in to another class that’s perfectly timed for the overweight mommy of a nearly newborn. It’s free, too. I’m sure we’re paying as part of our monthly cable bill, but at least I don’t have to pay each time the mood to move hits me. I highly recommend exercise. Just these brief workouts have helped my body feel better overall—even my sore feet. I look better too, if I do say so myself. But I think that has more to do with something else I learned this week—SPANX uber shapewear is great!!!

Marcia Caster
Senior Editor, Beauty and Fashion

New Mommy Files, Part 3

2007-06-08T20:56:00.000-05:00

It’s Friday and I’ve made it through another week of working mama drama. But today I have to share something I thought was so funny. My 5-year-old niece India is fascinated by all things baby. She just eats up her new little cousin Raine. So I was at her house last night and started to breastfeed Raine. Since India, like most toddlers, has a mind like a steel trap, she remembers everything— ncluding me saying something about the possibility of milk ducts getting clogged. But she thought I called them milk ducks. So as I’m sitting there feeding Raine, India puts here finger on my breast and asks, “Aunt Cia, is this a milk duck?” I say, “Yes it is,” thinking she said duct. She looks up at me so seriously and in agreement says, “I know. I can feel the beak.” Gotta love her.
And speaking of breasts…I think breastfeeding evokes the same feelings about boobs that getting a boob job does—it’s like they are not yours anymore. They’re more like objects and can be flashed anywhere. Hence, me just whipping them out sitting in the middle of my sister’s family room.

Here’s another mommy moment. I just recently returned to work and on my first day back I happened to look down and I saw a huge wet spot on the front of my shirt! Worst fears officially confirmed—Houston we have a problem—leakage. It never occurred to me to bring an extra shirt. I had my Lansinoh pads in and all (Lansinoh is by far the best pads that I used). The buildup was just too much for a mere pad to swallow. So I casually walked to the bathroom, only to remember there is no hand dryer in there. I ran into a stall, whipped off my shirt and stood over the toilet squeezing the milk out. I only pray there were no cameras around. Nothing on YouTube yet. As for the milk-soaked shirt, I created as much heat as possible from good old-fashioned friction. It worked and I went back to work, but I could only think of how different my life has become.

But enough about me. Raine turned 4 months yesterday. And I’m noticing a difference in her abilities. She’s able to roll from her side to her back and to her side again. She laughs along with you, which is so cute. And she’s also learning how to use those hands. So when your little one turns 4 months, watch the hoop earrings. I used to be able to eat with Raine sitting on my lap. But the other day, she grabbed my bowl of cereal and almost flung it all over me.

And speaking of me again…I talked, well, e-mailed, a friend of mine from college. She has this great Web site, me (moms extraordinaire). And to lift from the site (I hope you don’t mind, Monique): The mission is to ensure that mothers Remember! Remember their passion, creativity, spontaneity, strength, sensuality, sense of self and purpose, while being a great mom. Now isn’t that what we’re all striving for? Go to www.mymenetwork.com this weekend and let it soak in. In my short four months of mommyhood, I can already feel the “me” draining from my system. But as soon as I e-mailed Monique, and talked to my other college friend, Virginia, I felt like I had plugged the leak. It was a little reminder that although I can add mommy to the resume, I have ideas from way back that don’t have to be put on the shelf. So note to all new mommies—keep your friends close. Whether they know it or not, they’ll keep YOU on track.

Marcia Caster
Senior Editor, Beauty and Fashion

New Mommy Files, Part 2

2007-06-01T08:47:00.001-05:00

I'm fat. It's all I thought about this morning, at work, on the way home and as I put on my pajamas. You know that Weight Watchers commercial where Jenny McCarthy says she was hoping she would come home with a 60-pound baby? Well, I think that I secretly thought that, too. I expected the baby weight to disappear shortly after the baby arrived. Now I didn't expect instant results, but it's been four months! I gained a total of 40 pounds. The first 20 just disappeared. I thought the other 20 would be a breeze. But now my tummy looks like it did when I was about four months pregnant. I still wear my maternity pants and my feet still swell up from time to time. What the hell is going on here?

I never really had a weight problem and was thankful for it. I always said that I didn't have enough discipline to lose massive amounts of weight. I've gained two pounds this week alone. Yes, I said GAINED. I barely ate today because I was too busy at work. I came home and hopped on the scale and had lost two ounces. This is going to be a long road. I used to laugh at my mom when she said you need a strong foundation. No, not faith or morals or bricks. She was talking about support underwear. Now I know. I am the proud owner of shaper underwear that comes up to my chest and a pair of tummy flattener panties that I swear is so tough it's probably bulletproof.

Maybe it's time to put vanity on the shelf. My body has done a pretty amazing thing. It carried another human for nine months and now with the breastfeeding, it is sustaining a human. I definitely look at my body differently. The battle scar from the C-section. The faint stretch marks from my stomach stretching to fit little Raine. And I'll never look at my boobs the same again. With all that said, I quickly put my visions of being a cute pregnant woman aside; must I now stifle my vision of being a cute mommy of an infant? I think not! Operation svelte mommy is in full effect. I don't know how I'm going to lose 25 pounds. The only way I've been able to drop any pounds was by hopping on my treadmill every day. But in my new place, there's no room for it. And the walls and floors are so thin the neighbors would probably call the cops for disturbing the peace.

But I'll figure it out. I need to lose the weight, not just to look good from the side in my pre-pregnancy jeans, but so I have the energy to keep up with a baby. She'll be up and running in about seven months. I'm no spring chicken. I waited until I was 39 to have my first child. But with a little dedication hopefully this chicken will be clucking her way back to a size 6. Pray for me. I'll keep you posted.

Marcia Caster
Senior Editor, Beauty and Fashion

The New Mommy Files

2007-05-23T17:49:00.000-05:00

Welcome to my world of new mommy-dom. Hopefully through my trials and tribulations I can help other new moms make the adjustment, either by sharing some resources—or a laugh.

I had a great pregnancy. No morning sickness. No back pain. No extreme fatigue. I did have to deal with swollen feet. The flattest of shoes weren’t flat enough to keep my feet from looking like water balloons by the end of the day. My favorite pair was Etienne Aigner loafers with a rubber sole! They felt like slippers. (I still wear them now walking the New York City streets.) I feared that my high-heeled shoe collection would be a thing of the past and for the most part my fears were confirmed—but more on that another time.

But overall I really can’t complain about my nine months of pregnancy. In fact, I kinda miss it. I miss looking in the mirror and actually being happy that my stomach was sticking out. I miss having an excuse to just kick my feet up and do absolutely nothing. I miss the anticipation of something exciting happening. I miss being the subject of conversation at family gatherings (new mommy alert: as soon as the baby appears, you disappear. Don’t you dare go to any family function without the star attraction—the new baby). But despite the smooth pregnancy, there were three things I wish I’d known in preparation and during the birth of my daughter, Raine Alexia, that I thought I’d share.

1. Choosing a name is HARD! I’ve had names of my imaginary kids since, well, I was a kid. A list on my computer, a computer that froze up and became utterly useless during my pregnancy. So we had to start from scratch. For girls I had Janay. Couldn’t do that one because I chose it with an ex-boyfirend, who I believe did name his daughter that. Makayla. No go. Daddy thought it sounded like Milk of Magnesia. Then dad came up with Sharia. I liked the sound of it, but looked the word up online and found it was from Sharia Law, an Islamic law that many women are fighting against because it constricts women’s freedoms. Then I thought about all of the pressure a name carries. I couldn’t possibly hang Sharia over her head. Let’s get her off to the right start. So in the end, I was brainwashed. Dad (Marc) always liked the name Raine (however, he wanted to spell it Reign). So before she was a blip on the radar we would always refer to the would-be daughter as Raine. I didn’t like it at first, but then it grew on me. By the time she arrived it seem wrong to name her anything else because she’s always been Raine. But I had control over the spelling. Then I found out that Will and Jada Smith’s daughter Willow’s middle name is what? Reign. I’ll never live that one down. Check out www.babycenter.com/babynames for names and meanings.

2. Epidural hurts. Sure it numbs the pain of labor. But who is going to invent the magic pill that numbs the pain of the epidural? Never mind that the needle is horrendous, but it’s shot into your spine, sends an electric current down your leg and has the potential to leave a scar at the point of injection. I also had a major case of the itchies in the recovery. I thought I’d scratch my skin off. I was told it was the epidural leaving my body. It was one of the most uncomfortable nights ever.

3. You throw up after a C-section. I was feeling good mere hours after the birth. I was eager to sip down my liquid menu of chicken broth, juice and Jello—only to vomit profusely seconds after gulping it down!

Talk to you next week with more mommy and baby happenings!

Marcia Caster
Senior Editor, Beauty and Fashion

Heart & Soul Magazine Returns and We Need Your Help!

2005-08-23T03:24:00.000-05:00

After a year and a half hiatus Heart & Soul, the Health, Fitness and Beauty magazine for today's African-American woman returns to its loyal readership. With a renewed commitment to making life better for the African-American woman and her family, Heart & Soul has adopted a new theme, "Healthy, Wealthy, Wise."

We've brought many of your favorite editors, writers and designers back including Yanick Rice-Lamb as our editorial director, Kendra Lee as our managing editor, Nichele Hoskins as fitness editor, Marcia Caster as beauty editor and Mocha Lee as a fitness contributor.

It's been both an exciting and challenging time for African-American media, especially magazines. Many titles have struggled to stay afloat.

Has Our Magazine Scene Lost Its Essence?

2005-08-23T02:27:00.000-05:00

This is a very poignant article from BlackAmericaWeb.com that speaks to the challenges of keeping our magazines alive and well.