New Mommy Files, Part 5
Raine’s dad was home all week and watched her while I was at work. It’s funny how my sister (who’s been pitching in and watching Raine for us) and my mom worried out loud whether or not he could handle it. But I had faith and Raine needed the 24 hours a day of one-on-one quality time. Well he did it, and I only received a couple of calls during the day. I’ve noticed when dads do what moms do every day all day it is touted as a special accomplishment. I guess it goes back to the idea that the man goes out and provides for the home and the woman keeps that home intact. I was definitely in the male role this week. I didn’t get home until 8 p.m.--just enough time to play with Raine a little bit, and then it was time to give her a bath and put her to sleep. It was easy to see that when we do finally have to put her in daycare, she’s going to be spending more waking time with the caregiver than with me. I just can’t stand it. I know it happens all the time, but I would feel so guilty. Aaahhh—the working mom guilt.
So now my working life has to fit around my, well, life. I told someone the other day I was glad that I waited so late to have a child because career really has to take a back seat. I still need to bring home the bacon, but it can't be at all costs. Working until 7 p.m. won’t be a viable option once formal daycare enters the picture. I’ve heard about all of those “pick-your-child-up-late fees.” I’ve thought about getting a part-time job to supplement my freelance gig. Or maybe try to go freelance all the way. I have to create a different kind of life so I can tend to my most important job--being Raine’s mom.
Can I tell you I really didn’t think I would have these kinds of worries? Before I had a child, in my head I knew I would have no problems dropping him or her off and just keep moving. But I cried like a baby my first day back at work and I was only taking her to my sister’s house! I’m a total wimp right now. But we’ll work it out.
Speaking of working it out. I did no working out and the scale shows it. Last week I was 146.8 and as of this morning I’m 147.8. I barely eat, which I know may contribute to the problem, but I think I’m going to have to join a gym. Seriously. Drink more water. Drink more water. Eat more salad. Eat no meat. That has to be my mantra from here on out. This weight is not budging, but I’m trying not to let it depress me. As always, I’ll keep you posted.
Marcia Caster
Senior Editor, Beauty and Fashion
So now my working life has to fit around my, well, life. I told someone the other day I was glad that I waited so late to have a child because career really has to take a back seat. I still need to bring home the bacon, but it can't be at all costs. Working until 7 p.m. won’t be a viable option once formal daycare enters the picture. I’ve heard about all of those “pick-your-child-up-late fees.” I’ve thought about getting a part-time job to supplement my freelance gig. Or maybe try to go freelance all the way. I have to create a different kind of life so I can tend to my most important job--being Raine’s mom.
Can I tell you I really didn’t think I would have these kinds of worries? Before I had a child, in my head I knew I would have no problems dropping him or her off and just keep moving. But I cried like a baby my first day back at work and I was only taking her to my sister’s house! I’m a total wimp right now. But we’ll work it out.
Speaking of working it out. I did no working out and the scale shows it. Last week I was 146.8 and as of this morning I’m 147.8. I barely eat, which I know may contribute to the problem, but I think I’m going to have to join a gym. Seriously. Drink more water. Drink more water. Eat more salad. Eat no meat. That has to be my mantra from here on out. This weight is not budging, but I’m trying not to let it depress me. As always, I’ll keep you posted.
Marcia Caster
Senior Editor, Beauty and Fashion
posted by heart&soulmate @ 9:05 AM
2 Comments:
At 12:53 PM,
nypeach said…
Long-time friend, first-time poster. I know what you mean about the weight loss and letting go of your baby. My baby is almost 13 years old, but I remember those days (and not fondly). I HATED having to drop Alana off at the daycare, even if it was run by her grandparents. Nobody could take care of her like I could, so it bummed me out to have to hand her over. The best thing you can do is join a gym and show up at least three times a week. This will not only help you lose weight, but will also give you the energy and perspective to deal with motherhood. You know how on the airlines they tell you to put the oxygen mask on yourself first, then on your child? Well, that pretty much sums up motherhood. You have to take care of you to give your child the best possible upbringing.
At 1:57 PM,
Monique Pryor said…
Marcia,
Your niece sounds too cute for words. I remember those breastfeeding days. Yes, it is great for the baby and bonding..yadayadayada. But, I must admit, that I do not miss it at all. The part I do miss is how voluptuous my boobs looked and enjoying a few months of having cleavage.
Thanks for the shout-out for www.mymenetwork.com. I truly enjoy encouraging and inspiring my fellow sisters to "do their thing." Connecting with you Marcia after so many years was nothing but the universe bringing two like minds together to look out for one another. In my mother's book, "It's Your Turn," she ,(Dr. Barbara Collins)advisises that everyone should have a personal board of directors. A select few of people who will guide you, uplift you and tell you like it is as you as you pursue your goals and discover your truth. I hereby nominate Marcia Caster to be on my board. You are a dynamic working mother making it happen.
Monique Pryor
Co-founder
Me, Moms Extraordinaire
www.mymenetwork.com
P.S. You are not fat! Give me some of those boobs girl. :)
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